


Step By Reluctant Step

by not_rude_ginger



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Brother Feels, Developing Relationship, Dysfunctional Family, Father-Son Relationship, M/M, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Redemption, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2019-05-07 14:22:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14672922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/not_rude_ginger/pseuds/not_rude_ginger
Summary: Infinity War Fix-It!Thanos is defeated with some unexpected help from Loki, who brings an army, but must pay the price for it. Steve finds himself keeping an eye on Thor for Loki, and when Loki returns he gets more and more involved with this messy family.For the price Loki has to pay is becoming a father, and all the progress the brothers made in the wake of Ragnarok is under threat as parenthood stirs up all sorts of ugly emotions.Steve would honestly like to leave them to it, he has his own life to lead, his own friends and job, but something keeps pulling him back. Maybe it's the fact that the brothers are the ultimate drama to bear witness to, maybe it's out of loyalty to Thor, or maybe it's something to do with the fact that despite all the terrible things Loki has done... there's just something that intrigues Steve about him against both of their wills.





	1. Called Up

**Author's Note:**

> So! I love Loki/Sigyn but I also love Steve/Loki, and I wanted to write something that was more in line with the MCU and fixed IW. 
> 
> Also Papa Loki gives me a million feels! 
> 
> Enjoy!

 

Even after getting the stones away from Thanos and undoing his murders, he was still a powerful foe, and while they had been able to restore their own forces, his had also been restored. Thor had been able to use the second gauntlet to undo Thanos’ work, but it had nearly killed him, leaving him open and vulnerable. Steve and Bucky did their best to protect him as Thanos and his horde tried to reach them, but they were once again outnumbered.

Steve glanced at Bucky and they shared the same hopeless glance. If they died, Thanos would get the gauntlet back and do the same thing all over again.

“C’mon punk, let’s do this,” Bucky growled. Steve huffed in agreement, hefting his shield again. They charged the enemy, when a flash of green light made them startle. Around them, rips were appearing in the air, revealing a mountain. It was like they were in a painting and the canvas had split, revealing another painting behind it.

Steve blinked, wondering if he was imagining it, but when a cry of ‘Charge!’ cut through the air, he realized a massive army was running through the tears in space, firing blasters and emitting guttural roars at Thanos’ army. Was this more of Wakanda’s army? No, the armour was different.

“Steve! Incoming!” Bucky yelled. Steve whipped around to see a green and gold figure land next to Thor, sprawled on the grass.

“No!” Steve ran as fast as he could back to his friend. The figure’s back was to him, but Steve knew who it was. Who else wore golden horns? “Loki, you touch him and-”

Loki whirled around, a sneer in place,

“What fool let my brother wield the gauntlet alone?”

“What?” Steve slowed just enough to cancel the body slam he had been intending. Loki was crouched next to Thor in a protective stance, daggers in hand.

“It could have killed him! Who let him take such a risk?”

“Have you met your brother? No one lets him do anything,” Steve snapped.

“On your left!” Loki retorted and Steve punched automatically, catching one of the horde. He turned back to see Loki gathering Thor into a sitting position and sitting so Thor’s head was on his shoulder and he held up the hand in the gauntlet.

“What are you doing?” Steve demanded, not trusting Loki for a second.

“The only thing that will defeat Thanos is the stones. We need to use them again.”

“You just said it might kill him.”

“I didn’t say he must use them alone,” Loki growled, resting his free hand on the side of Thor’s head.

“…’oki?” Thor mumbled, stirring slightly.

“I’m here,” said Loki. Only that Steve was so close, he would not have heard them.

“… you asshole, you tricked me again!” Thor groaned, blinking blearily. Steve saw Loki’s mouth spasm.

“Not exactly,” said Loki, giving him a shake, “Come on Thor, use me to kill that bastard. I’m right here, I can give you the strength you need. Come on!”

Steve saw Loki’s hand glowing against Thor’s head, and he considered intervening, but his gut told him to stay out of it. Besides, he was distracted by more of the creatures coming at him. He was surrounded and nearly overcome, when a shockwave knocked him off his feet.

There was a sound like rock cracking, and then silence. Steve struggled to his feet, looking around. Thanos was standing still, his eyes wide, mouth forming a small ‘O’ of surprise. Then like a statue, pieces of him began to crumble away.

It wasn’t the way anyone else had gone, turning to ash and drifting away to nothing. This was different. Pieces of him fell to the ground, bit by bit, until there was nothing left but a pile of rubble. Then a bolt of lightning stuck the rubble, blasting it apart for good measure.

Steve stared in disbelief. Was it over? He was still alive, how could it be over?

A strangled scream made him look around. Loki was rocking back and forth, Thor slumped in his arms.

“Wake up! Wake up!” Loki shrieked, flailing under Thor’s weight, his arms still around his mountain of a brother. “Wake up Thor!”

Steve spared a look around for his own safety, Thanos’ army was trying to flee and was being cut down by the reinforcements. He turned back and ran to them, skidding to his knees.

“Thor! Thor!” he shook his friend, then noticed the smoke coming off the gauntlet and Loki’s agonised screams. His flesh had melted to the gauntlet, but he did not seem to be paying any attention, his attention was on Thor.

“Oh no you don’t!” Loki’s eyes flashed red, then gold and green tendrils of magic began to pour into Thor. Steve pulled his hands away, unable to do anything but watch as the magic streamed into Thor, Loki’s skin turning sickly yellow, before it bled away to blue.

Steve’s mouth fell open, but before he could comment, Thor inhaled like a drowning breaking the surface and straightened up. Loki howled with pain as Thor waved his arms, dragging Loki’s with him.

“Easy, easy!” said Steve quickly, pressing on Thor’s chest to still him. “You’re ok, you’re ok!”

“What –what happened? Thanos-! He –he-!”

“Stop moving you blundering dolt!” Loki gasped, sagging back like a stringless puppet, dragged around by Thor’s motions. Thor’s head snapped around so sharply Steve heard his neck crick. He gaped at Loki in disbelief.

“Brother! Loki! What –I –” Thor surged forward to crush Loki in a hug, but Loki groaned and swayed dangerously as the blue drained away. Thor looked down at the gauntlet and looked horrified. “Loki, your hand-”

“I. Noticed!” Loki spat through gritted teeth. “Now stop moving.”

Thor froze at once, staring at Loki with a rapturous expression.

“You tricked me again!” He sounded delighted, “You faked your death again!”

“Oh for-” Loki collapsed sideways, Thor caught him in his free arm, “I have _never_ faked my death! Only taken advantage of the opportunity presented when I failed to perish!”

Thor did not seem to be listening, he had buried his nose in Loki’s black hair, tears streaming down his face. Steve wished he could let the two have the moment, but they had to separate them both from the gauntlet. He looked around, spotting a black clad figure calling order to his warriors.

“Panther!” he called, waving him over. T’Challa strode over, and Steve could tell he was scanning the situation and assessing the danger level. “We need to separate them.”

“My hand is fine,” said Thor, already withdrawing from the inside of the second gauntlet. However the motion caused Loki to moan in pain, and he froze.

“If we can get them to my sister’s lab, she should be able to help.”

Having seen what Shuri could do, Steve was in no doubt that that was true. How they would get the two to Shuri was another matter.

“Thor can you fly the two of you over?”

“I can try,” said Thor, already reaching for Stormbreaker, but Loki hissed,

“If you even try it I will kill you. You’re in no condition to fly!”

Thor rolled his eyes, but he was grinning.

“Then what do you suggest?”

T’Challa provided the answer,

“Okoye! Bring the flatboat here.”

Okoye nodded and headed for the vehicle, which lifted two feet off the ground and floated over to them. Together with Bruce and Natasha, who had made their way over, they helped Thor and Loki into the flatboat and then Steve climbed in after them. Someone had to keep an eye on Loki.

~*~

Shuri was able to use nanotechnology to separate the two of them. Not that Thor went very far, he wouldn’t let Loki out of his sight. When Shuri stepped between them as she worked, despite the fact that both men towered over her, Thor picked her up and set her aside like a doll so nothing blocked his view. Luckily Shuri was too busy trying to scan Stormbreaker to retaliate… for now.

“You lied to me,” he said, folding his arms across his chest. Loki, who was grimacing as he focused on his hand, healing it with magic. Steve could not pretend he was not fascinated by the sight, even if the damage had been severe enough to leave Loki’s arm melted looking and smoking.

“I did not. I told you, I have never faked my death.”

“On Svartalfheim-”

“I didn’t plan on waking, you fool,” snapped Loki, looking up and hissing as his magic flickered around his hand. Loki looked down at his hand again, the green and gold shimmering back to stability. “When I was stabbed I thought I was dying, and I don’t know how I woke up. I just did and decided not to enlighten you about it. Now shut up, I’m busy.”

Thor looked infuriated, but his eyes dropped down to Loki’s charred hand and Steve saw his frown soften a little. Thor stepped up to Loki and rested his hand on the slighter man’s shoulder,

“Heal and rest brother, but know that we will talk about this soon.”

Loki wrinkled his nose, though that may have been at the smell of his arm than Thor’s words. It was hard to be sure since he would not look up. Thor gave him an extra pat on the shoulder, then turned to Steve,

“Let us see what we can do to help the others.”

Steve looked from Thor to Loki and back.

“You think we’re ok leaving him here?” he asked quietly. Thor sighed,

“I do not believe he will make too much trouble, considering how injured he is. Besides, Loki prefers to nurse his wounds in solitude, so he can brood on them like an angry cat.”

“Hey!” snapped Loki, though his instant scowl that followed indicated he knew he had betrayed himself. Thor smirked at him,

“Well you do, brother. Come Steve.”

Before Steve could voice any objections, Thor had guided him out of the lab. They did not get far before a woman from the army Loki had brought with him turned a corner and stopped short. Steve and Thor did the same,

“Commander,” greeted Thor politely, “Are you lost?”

The commander raised one eyebrow. She was a strawberry blonde, yet her complexion was darker than Steve had ever seen where the red was natural.

“If this is the direction Prince Loki is in, then no,”

Thor smiled affably, but Steve felt him tense a little,

“My brother is injured and needs rest. I’m sure whatever you need of him you can bring to me, as Asgard’s king.”

“Can a king be a king without a throne or constitution? Your father didn’t seem to think so,” said the commander. There was malice in her voice, something old and nasty that seemed impossible for her to suppress.

“My people seek my leadership and they call me their king. That is all that is needed, especially in turbulent times,” said Thor coolly. “Now what business have you with Loki?”

“That is between Prince Loki and my Queen,” said the commander.

“Lady Freya and I are old friends, I’m sure she would be happy to direct her needs to me.”

A flicker of triumph passed over the woman’s face, and her lips twitched. Steve squeezed his right hand with his left, trying to hide his own unease. He was wrung out and he wanted to find Bucky again, reaffirm he was fine, then drop onto the nearest bed and sleep for a month. He did not want to be caught between two alien warriors in a fight.

“You are mistaken,” said the commander. “Lady Freya and her brother are no longer the rulers of Vanaheim. They were removed from power several years ago, by Odin himself.”

Steve could practically hear Thor’s internal ‘Damnit Loki!’ before the Asgardian spoke,

“Where are they now?”

“I have no idea, did they make it out of Asgard before it was blown up?” asked the commander sweetly. Thor clenched his fists at his sides.

“So who is your new Queen, Commander?”

“Queen Sigyn, of course. The rightful heir to the Vanir throne.”

Thor stared at her for a moment, then turned on his heels and stormed back to Shuri’s lab. For a moment, Steve considered leaving them to it and doing anything else. However, his own curiosity, coupled with a desire to protect Shuri’s beloved lab, won out and he followed them. He entered as Thor barked,

“Tell me you did not put Sigyn on the Vanir throne!!”

Loki jumped and hissed in pain as his magic dissolved from his half healed hand. He glared at Thor, then said,

“What of it?”

“Have you lost your wits, why would you do that?”

Loki shrugged, flexing his burnt fingers, his green eyes darting to the commander behind Thor. Steve thought the skin around his eyes tightened. The commander stepped forward and held out a small round object.

“This will aid your healing.”

It seemed Loki teetered on the edge of saying no, but his pain overcame his pride. He crushed the stone over his injuries and the skin started to heal before their eyes. Loki sighed with relief and his shoulders dropped a little.

“Much better.”

“Now you must come with me,” said the commander, her hand resting on her weapon.

“What? No!” Thor moved so fast it was an obvious instinct, grabbing Loki’s upper arm and hauling him behind him. “My brother stays with me.”

“I’m afraid that is not acceptable,” said the commander. Steve resisted the urge to shift his weight, knowing that might draw their attention, something he really did not want. He had no dog in this fight. Thor might need to cling to Loki, in fact Steve could understand the impulse, but Steve had not forgotten what Loki had done on Earth.

“He stays with me,” said Thor and sparks flickered at his fingertips. Loki rolled his eyes behind him, and in doing so, he caught Steve’s gaze. They regarded one another for a moment, and Steve had the sense that Loki was calculating Steve’s presence and effect on the situation. He seemed to come to a conclusion, because he nodded to Steve as he grasped Thor’s hand. It was an intimate gesture, one that got Thor’s instant attention.

Steve wondered if they had held hands as children, big brother leading little brother around. Maybe that was what Loki was trying to evoke in that moment.

“Thor, I must go. I must honour my part of the deal,” Loki said softly, a crease between his brows that made him look earnest and young.

“Deal?” Thor rasped, his voice suddenly hoarse.

“I made a deal with Sigyn, in order to gain her army. I have to go back now and contribute my part.”

“What part?”

Loki sighed and looked down at their hands,

“I don’t know. She knew she had me cornered, so she said she would only tell me what she wanted when I returned.” He lifted his other hand, the half healed one, to his neck and a glimmer of soft blue appeared around it. “If I don’t go willingly, this geas will force me to go to her. I’d rather go back of my own accord.”

“Loki I just got you back!” Thor whispered, his free hand curling on the back of Loki’s neck. Loki gave him a weak smile.

“I doubt Sigyn will want me around for long. She implied that she had a particular use for me, and then she would send me away. After which, no Asgardian will ever be allowed on Vanaheim again.”

Thor swallowed, searching Loki’s face for a long moment. Then he rounded on the Vanaheim commander,

“My brother will not be harmed, and he will be allowed to leave alive, or I will come looking for him, and army or no army, I will remind you why I am called the God of Thunder.”

Loki rolled his eyes again, but there was a tiny smile on his lips. He was still holding Thor’s hand and despite everything Steve knew about Loki, everything he had done, he felt a strange sense of sympathy and understanding. Loki did love his brother.

It was a hard thing to comprehend.

“He will live, that I can promise you,” said the commander, “Other than that…” she shrugged. “Come, my queen is expecting you.”

Loki’s Adam’s apple bobbed hard and he gave Thor one last look before separating from him. He gave Steve another glance, and Steve had the oddest feeling that Loki was conveying Thor’s care to him.

Why he thought that Steve would be able to help Thor through this, he had no idea, but he found himself nodding slightly. Loki swept from the room, actually leading the commander out rather than the other way around. It was brazen, and slightly admirable. Steve stepped up and levelled himself with Thor’s shoulder. Thor looked so crushed, but he was clearly trying to control himself. Steve rested his hand on the other man’s shoulder.

“I’m sure he’ll be fine.”

Thor shook his head,

“You don’t understand. Sigyn has every reason to do him harm. It was our father who executed her parents and removed her from the line of succession, placing Freya and Freyr on the throne. The twins were more loyal to Asgard than Sigyn’s family, and father seized the first chance to replace them.” Thor swallowed, then looked at Steve,

“Sigyn is the same age as myself and Loki, we played together as children, but when father killed her parents we rejected her. We were all young, and Loki and I thought father was in the right. An uprising against Asgard had occurred, fifty strong, and they didn’t even last a day. Still father said that the occurrence meant Queen Skadi, King Noldr and Princess Sigyn were traitors to Asgard and did not deserve the throne.” He gave a bitter scoff,

“It was just an excuse, I know that now. Father wanted more control over Vanaheim, because it was the most likely realm to rival us. We didn’t understand that, we just thought our playmate had betrayed us, so we did nothing when she begged for our help in sparing her parents… sparing her.”

Steve could not stop himself from folding his arms even though he knew it made him look disapproving.

“What happened to her?” he asked.

“Father sent her to the outskirts of Asgard to finish her education and then sent her back to Vanaheim. I know he took measures to ensure she could not provoke a rebellion –I heard someone say she was living as a prostitute to earn a living, but that might have been a scurrilous rumour. I didn’t think much about her after it all happened.”

“And now Loki gave her back the throne? Why?” asked Steve incredulously. As indignant as he felt about this girl’s treatment, he knew enough of politics to know it was insane to give someone your family had wronged so much power.

“Who knows?” said Thor darkly, “For his own amusement? Out of his desire to cause trouble? Maybe he even did it out of sentiment, he and Sigyn had been close before it all happened. I think our parents had half an idea of marrying them. Then again, considering Loki’s true heritage, they probably had never intended to go through with it.”

Thor looked away, his expression lost, but quickly he straightened his back.

“I must look to my people’s care. We are still in need of a home.” He gave Steve a light(ish) slap on the back and left. Steve followed, but did not attempt to engage him. Thor had his duties and Steve had his.

In the wake of Thanos’ actions, it took a long time for people to calm enough to start moving forward. The Avengers who had rejected the Accords were no longer considered criminals and Steve was able to move back to the USA, bringing Bucky with him. They shared a flat that was six times bigger than the biggest one they had rented in their youth, with a stunning view of the city.

Steve’s attention was taken up with settling himself and easing Bucky into the modern era. There were several moments of awkwardness where Bucky seemed perplex by tech, but when Steve tried to explain he had complained that the tech was antiquated compared to Wakanda. Then Bucky would gripe about missing Shuri’s gadgets and his goats.

Sam thought this was hilarious.

Thor’s people were granted land in Greenland, seemingly because it was the least densely populated place in the world, and not at all to do with the Danish control on it tangentially connecting Scandinavia to the Asgardians that they had once worshipped.

Did Denmark once worship Odin and his family? It seemed to be up for debate on the internet. In either case, Steve flew over to check on Thor when he could, feeling the strange compulsion to do as he felt Loki had asked of him. Thor’s people were building homes but to Steve’s eyes it was… haphazard. Thor had commissioned training spaces for warriors but had forgotten to build a school until someone asked where the children would learn.

The Asgardians wanted to be self-sufficient, but it seemed no farmers had made it off the realm. So they had no idea what to do to start, and yet they were reluctant to accept help from anyone. They seemed to think they were better than the humans, and did not want to lower themselves. It meant visiting them was a bit of a chore, they clearly had learned nothing from their king. Steve tried to focus on being a friend and not a political advisor.  

It was on one of these visits, when Thor was showing Steve around, that Loki returned. As before, the air itself split and a single figure stepped through.

“Loki!” Thor did not even bother to hold his excitement back, he ran at Loki with his arms out to embrace him. Loki however half turned away and snapped,

“No!”

Thor came to an abrupt halt, looking hurt. Loki turned back and Steve could see he had a bundle cradled in his arms. Loki looked tired and worn, as if he had not slept well for a long time. He stepped forward, glancing around uneasily at the gathering Asgardians.

“Well. Thor, I see you’ve been busy.”

Thor stepped closer, closing the distance between them when Loki did not object. Only when he was right in front of him did he look down at the bundle. His eyes widened and he raised a hand slowly, hovering over the bundle.

“Oh… Loki.”

Steve could guess what was in the bundle, especially when a small hand popped out and waggled around. Thor, on automatic it seemed, pressed his forefinger into the tiny palm. At once the fingers closed and squeezed. Thor looked awed, but Steve saw Loki narrow his eyes at his brother. He shifted the baby in his arms, dislodging the little grip, a deliberate move Steve thought.

“This is my son, Vali. Heir to the Vanir throne. I will be raising him until the time comes for him to go to Vanaheim. Whenever that may be.”

There was something about the way he said it that suggested he had not agreed to this fact, but had accepted it. Steve felt a little chill and stepped around so he could see the baby. At first he looked like any other baby, but as he squirmed, the sunlight moved over faint blue lines on his face and arm.

“I am an uncle,” said Thor, sounding choked. He smiled and reached out, “We shall rear him as a Prince of Asgard, and I-”

Loki held Vali closer, stepping back.

“I will be raising him,” he said coolly, “He is my son. I can look after him.”

Thor’s smile slipped.

“Yes, of course, but surely I can help.”

“I don’t need your help, I am perfectly capable of doing this,” said Loki. “Now I need to sort out a home for us, so excuse me.” Loki turned and started to walk away.

“Loki wait!” Thor grabbed his shoulder, holding him there and turning him around. “Brother, please, I do not question your capabilities, or that he is yours, but you and he are my only family. Please, come and stay with me until you have a place of your own set up. If you do not want me to help… at least let me nearby.”

If it had not been so heartfelt, Steve might have felt embarrassed for Thor begging Loki like this. It seemed wrong that Thor should beg when he was so good, while Loki had done so much evil.

It almost seemed like Loki was about to spit venom at Thor, but something in him seemed to give and he nodded mutely. Thor let out a sigh of relief and let him go, gesturing towards his makeshift home. Loki strode ahead, not looking at anyone, his eyes fixed on his son’s face. Thor looked to Steve and seemed to beg him to come with them.

Not entirely sure what Thor thought he could do, Steve followed with a resigned sense of foreboding. How much more did he really want to get involved with this family?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come and chat with me over at my [tumblr](https://not-rude-ginger.tumblr.com/)


	2. Sugar Bag Diaper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay in updating, I haven't been able to write anything for ages.

The tension in Thor’s home was so thick Steve could hardly bring himself to shift where he sat in the farthest corner of the den. Thor was sitting closer to the fire pit in the middle of the room, watching anxiously as Loki paced around the room, examining it as intently as he could with the baby still in his arms. After what must have been an hour, Loki turned to Thor and gave him a short nod. Thor’s shoulders dropped in relief and he stood up.

“May I greet your son now?” he asked tentatively, every word sounding considered. Loki drew in a slow breath, but he seemed unable to come up with a reason to refuse. So he went to Thor and cautiously placed the baby in Thor’s arms. Vali murmured softly at the jostling and Steve was sure Loki almost snatched him back, but then the baby was quiet. Thor peered down at the baby, looking fascinated.

Loki’s eyes flicked between Thor and Vali, watching for something.

“How old is he?” asked Thor softly.

“About six hours old.”

Thor’s head snapped up at the same time as Steve’s eyebrows.

“Six hours? He was only born this day? But… his mother-?”

“Held him long enough to name him, pronounce him her heir, then passed him to me,” said Loki, his lips twisting as if he tasted something sour. “She had matters of state to attend to.”

Thor frowned, looking down at the baby again, declaring,

“Then she does not deserve the honour of raising him.” Next second he pulled a silly face and cooed, “No she does not, no she doesn’t!”

Steve rubbed the end of his nose, trying to avoid catching Loki’s eye, in case he started sniggering. Loki did not look even slightly amused. Thor continued to baby talked to Vali, until Loki snapped,

“Give him back!” He snatched the baby away so fast Vali instantly began to wail. Loki’s eyes bugged out in alarm and he started bouncing Vali in his arms. “Shush, shush!”

This did not help, as Vali cried louder, kicking his way out of his blankets, which started to trail along the floor as Loki bounced his son harder.

“Maybe he’s hungry,” said Thor anxiously, “Let me see if I can find a woman to nurse him-”

“No! I can manage it,” said Loki, wincing as Vali’s cries grew louder and higher.

“Loki you can do many things but you cannot nurse a baby,” said Thor in a ‘be reasonable’ tone. Steve could tell that only made Loki angrier. He threw Thor a nasty glower, then put his back to him, hunched over Vali who was only getting louder.

“Shush, you stupid-” Loki caught himself and rolled his head on his neck, forcing his shoulders down. Steve felt a small measure of pity for him, but the fact that he nearly swore at his newborn killed most of it. It was obvious Loki had no idea what to do with a baby, and was taking his crying as a personal slight on his lack of parenting skills. Loki glanced over his shoulder at Thor who was hovering, then at Steve who raised his eyebrows at him innocently. Huffing, Loki strode through the nearest door, into Thor’s bedroom and slammed the door. It muffled Vali’s crying a little, but they could still hear it loud and clear.

“Lookiiii,” Thor groaned, striding to the door and lifting his fist to knock.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” said Steve, grimacing at himself for speaking at all. Thor looked at him.

“I’m trying to help!” he said anxiously.

“I know,” said Steve, getting to his feet. “But has Loki ever accepted your help before?”

Thor deflated,

“No.”

“Exactly. Maybe you should leave him alone for a bit.” Steve got to his feet, “Like he said, the kid is just born, its probably been a hell of a day for Loki. Let him settle in if you don’t want to start a fight.”

Thor sighed, crossing the space and staring out of the window. His mismatched eyes seemed to focus on the distance, his fingertips sparking with lightning.

“I have lost so much Steve. I lost my mother, my father, my world and most of my friends. Loki I have lost more than once, yet he has returned to me time and again. I am tired of fighting with him. Now I have a nephew, and Loki, a son. Should we not look to his birth as a way for us to form a new family?” The king looked at the soldier, “What if Bucky fought you at every turn? How would you react?”

“Honestly? I’d probably never stop trying to find a way to… ‘fix things’.” Steve sighed, stuffing his hands into his pockets. “Its not exactly the same though, is it? Bucky never chose to be the Winter Soldier. You told me before about Loki’s attempt to erase another species off the face of the universe, and you can’t say that he didn’t make that choice.”

“Aye, I know. Loki has done great wrongs, but I… I believe that he can be a good person. He was once, no matter how much he claims otherwise. Can he not become so again?”

It was on the tip of Steve’s tongue to say no. Loki had done so many terrible things, Steve did not think there was any overcoming that. How did one make up for so much destruction and death?

“I don’t know,” said Steve finally. “I honestly don’t know how someone makes up for what he did.”

“Does it not count for something that he brought Vanaheim’s army to aid us? What exactly would be enough? My brother’s fall may have been long, but I do not pretend that some of it is not by the doing of those around him. I have no wish to see him once more placed under insurmountable expectations that he cannot break free from. That is how he fell in the first place.”

“I don’t know, I’m not the gatekeeper of Earth’s forgiveness,” said Steve. “Just… keep him away from the rest of the world, at least until it’s more used to sharing the planet with another species. Knowing Loki is on earth would be way too much for everyone.”

“They do not know him as Loki -we both know that so long as he does not turn up somewhere populated with his horns and greens he would not be recognised. He and I moved through New York searching for our father, and while people knew me, they did not know Loki,” said Thor firmly, as if he could will this to happen by his own conviction. Steve had to concede that he had a point. In the aftermath of the Invasion, the only identifying name given to the enemy had been Chitauri. Perhaps SHIELD had wanted to protect Thor from the possible negative reactions that his connection with Loki might have revealed, not wanting to lose or offend one of their most powerful allies.

“Still,” continued Thor, “I will encourage Loki to remain here. I want him to find his place among our people again, and he cannot do that if he leaves again. His son deserves to know his own heritage.”

Steve noticed that the crying had stopped. He hoped that meant good things. He was struggling with images in his mind of Loki hurting the baby, in pure frustration if nothing else, but he knew that it was his own encounters with Loki that were colouring his vision. It was already clear Loki wanted to look after Vali, even if he obviously had no idea how to go about it. Steve was certain that Vali was in more danger from Loki’s inexperience than his cruelty, at least for now.

“Do you two… do either of you know how to change a diaper?” he asked quietly. Thor’s eyes narrowed in thought, then widened,

“We… no. I don’t think I’ve even seen one, not since Loki was a babe. I have a vague memory of watching our nurse changing Loki, but I remember that once I saw the contents I promptly left to do something else.”

Well, there was an image.

“I’ve changed a few in my time, I used to babysit some of the neighbours kids when I was a teenager. I could… show you?”

Why was he even offering? Surely someone else in this settlement could show Thor what to do. But now he had made the offer, he could not take it back.

“I would be grateful!” said Thor, looking bolstered. Before Steve could stop him, Thor had turned back to the door and knocked, “Loki! Steve has offered to show us how to change Vali’s diapers -come out so we can both learn, together.”

There was a long silence, the Loki’s voice, soft but vicious, said,

“It can hardly be that complicated if he knows how.”

Irritation spiked through Steve, but Thor had the answer,

“Then it will hardly tax you to let him teach you. Come, let us see how it is done!”

There was another long silence, then the door opened. Loki had procured a bottle from somewhere -magic Steve guessed -and Vali was drinking greedily. One small hand was resting on the side of the bottle, curled around Loki’s long finger. Loki’s wide gaze was fixed on the baby, as if stunned that he was holding a real baby. There was something in his expression, a softness or, dare Steve think, a tenderness. It was an odd thing to see on the skinny, pale face.

“OK,” Steve said, “We’ll need a diaper. Where can we get one of those?”

Thor hummed, looking around, then picked up a hand towel, holding it out to Loki,

“Brother, can you-”

“Yes, yes!” Loki snapped, and before Steve’s eyes, the towel reshaped itself into something more like a diaper, and unless he was seeing things, the texture changed too.

“Huh, neat,” Steve admitted as Thor passed it to him. “OK, so, it’s pretty straightforward, once you get used to it. The hard part is making sure they don’t get a rash by making sure they’re very clean.”

Since Vali was still eating, Steve went to Thor’s cupboards. He rummaged around and found a bag of flour about the right size.

“We can use this as a stand in.”

Loki looked dubious, but Steve ignored him. He was sure Loki would not be bothered to change his son, once he got used to being on Earth the kid would probably be passed on to a woman who would do the real work. Loki wasn’t the nurturing kind he was sure. Still the two princes looked over Steve’s shoulder as he wrapped the diaper around the bottom of the bag, showing how to ensure a snug fit.

“I know there’s disposable ones you can buy, but they seem to be less popular now since they’re not environmentally friendly. Might as well start with the reusable ones.”

Thor nodded, he had spent a lot of time with various government officials who had lectured him on the importance of “being green”. Thor had told Steve later that Asgard had always been so, preferring to reuse everything they had, but he had seen how important it was to the officials that he listen to them, so he had said nothing.

After Steve’s demonstration, Thor had a turn, doing a fairly decent job of it. Loki did not make an attempt, but he had his hands full and no one was going to suggest he hand Vali over to take a turn. Vali finished his bottle and smacked his lips, fussing in Loki’s arms.

“He might need to be burped,” said Steve quietly when Loki did nothing but stare in alarm.

“What?” snapped Loki.

“Burped, you know, babies sometimes get air in their stomachs while they’re eating and they can’t expel it. You just need to help him.”

“Hm, human babes may be so incapable, but my son is not human!” Loki snarled, clearly offended.

“Loki, Steve only meant-”

“I don’t need your friends sticking their noses in my business!”

Thor sighed,

“As you wish. Come Steve, I wanted to show you our magic school before you left. I was thinking that Wanda may wish to come and visit.”

Glad of an escape, Steve nodded, but Loki’s voice cut between them.

“Magic school?”

Thor turned a mildly interested face to his brother,

“Aye, I thought it would be good to gather those who have knowledge of magic, so they could pass on the skills to the next generation. I had hoped you might wish to take a leading role in the place when you returned, but since you have a son now I will find someone else. “

“What is that supposed to mean?” said Loki waspishly, “Do you think me incapable of rearing a son and running a school?”

“Not at all brother. I just didn’t think it would interest you to lead such an endeavour, after all, all the children would be looking to you for guidance and advice. I’m sure that you would find it too tiresome, so I will find someone more up to the task.”

As Loki’s cheeks coloured and his eyes narrowed, Steve was absolutely sure he knew he was being goaded, but could not stop himself from snarling,

“Those children would be lucky to learn from a magic user such as me! I was, and am, Asgard’s greatest spell caster, even if arrogant oafs like you would only dismiss them as tricks!”

“A thing for which I am sorry,” said Thor, and he sounded sincere, “I know better now, and so do the rest of our people. But now you have a chance to show them just how much it takes to be a great magic user.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t ask your friend Strange to do it,” said Loki with a sniff. Steve wanted to roll his eyes. Did this man ever stop being a pain in the ass?

“I do not consider Strange my friend,” said Thor, “And even if I did, he is unsuited to the task. He does not know our people. You do.”

Loki’s jaw worked furiously, re-wrapping Vali in his blankets, which Vali did not seem to appreciate.

“Is this where you tell me once again that I could be more?” Loki spat. There was a weight behind those words.

“I guess it is,” said Thor, still not rising to the bait. It was obviously infuriating Loki, who seemed eager for a fight. While he silently stewed, trying to keep Vali in his blankets, Thor turned away from him. “Come Steve, I’ll show you the school. You might find it interesting.”

Steve glanced uneasily at Loki, who was glaring down at his son as Vali squalled unhappily.

“Sure…”

They left and both of them winced as they heard something smash behind them.

“You really think it’s a good idea to leave Loki alone with Vali?” Steve asked before he could stop himself. Thor folded his arms, glancing back at his home.

“I doubt Loki will harm him. Vali is his son and while Loki can be volatile, I believe that would be beyond him.”

“Do you really want him teaching kids?” Steve pressed, “After what he’s done?”

“Loki feels his skills were never appreciated when we were young. I cannot think of a better way for him to show off how good he is than by being in charge of the future of Asgard with me.”

“Aren’t you worried about him, I dunno, brainwashing the kids?”

Thor paused, looking back at the house, then shook his head,

“I don’t think it will happen. Loki will be determined to prove everyone wrong. He thrives on spite these days.”

For a moment Steve felt a jab of pity in his chest. What a horrible way to live.

“That sounds… risky. How can you be sure Loki won’t just go back to his invading ways?”

Thor heaved a sigh. He did a lot of that these days.

“I know your only experience with Loki is his assault on your world, on your home city.”

“It’s not just-” Steve started to object, but when Thor gave him a knowing look he clammed up. The fact that it had been New York had probably made him extra determined. Thor’s mouth twitched in amusement,

“But, in truth, that was only a one time event in Loki’s life. A large one, but dominating a planet is not something Loki has been trying to do over and over again. You overestimate how much that makes him who he is. Thanos was the one who gave him the army, who used the Mind Stone to influence that dark part of him. I am not excusing his actions,” Thor said quickly, seeing Steve’s expression. “But I cannot let that act define everything for my brother. He was not always like that, he need not always be like it either. You rebelled against your friends and your government because you believed yourself higher than them.”

“That wasn’t it!” snapped Steve but Thor pressed on.

“You thought yourself more objective, more righteous than everyone around you. Were the Sokovia Accords not simply asking for a way to protect people? Were they not simply to ensure they did not fear you? But your pride in your own sense of duty, your loyalty to your friend, made you prioritise that rather than the average person who might not see you as a hero.”

“Jesus Thor, are you actually comparing me to Loki?”

“No, but do you consider that one act of arrogance on your part the whole of who you are?”

Steve scowled,

“I did what I had to do, Thor.”

Thor folded his arms across his chest, heaving another sigh.

“Did it ever occur to you that Loki might have felt the same at the time?”

Once again, the honest answer was no. As far as Steve was concerned, nothing could justify trying to conquer the world. Thor read the answer in his face, and he rested his hand on Steve’s shoulder.

“Loki is my brother, he is all I have left, and now he is a father. He ruled Asgard well while posing as father, and he came through during Ragnarok. I have to believe there’s a chance for him to be a good person, or at least not a bad one. I want him to be happy, so I won’t try to force him into a role that is ill fitting, but if he tries to cause harm, I will stop him. I give you my word.” 

Steve had no option but to accept the promise.

Still… that poor baby had no idea what kind of man his father was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come and chat with me over at my [tumblr](https://not-rude-ginger.tumblr.com/)


	3. The Freelancer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the delay in updates -the medication I was put on for my Fibromyalgia made it impossible for me to write. I've now had my meds changed and finally have some writing flow going on. 
> 
> Enjoy!

There was no avoiding it.

They needed Loki’s help.

Strange was doing his best, but even with the vast knowledge he had access to, the truth was he was still relatively new to magic. He had tried to figure out what they were dealing with, but he just did not know. Thor had suggested reaching out to Loki from the start, but no one else wanted to deal with the darker prince.

Yet now they were short on time and out of their depth.

“Call him,” said Steve heavily. Thor nodded and pulled out his phone. The fact that no one objected now  said everything about the situation.

Five minutes later, Loki appeared at Thor’s side.

“What the hell is that?” demanded Clint before anyone else could react. He drew his bow and arrow, pointing at something hovering at Loki’s side. Loki’s hands glowed with magic and he stepped in front of the object, his lip curling into a snarl.

“Peace -easy brother!” Thor yelped, grabbing Loki’s upper arm and holding his other hand out to stay Clint’s aggression. “It’s my nephew!”

Steve shifted where he stood, trying to get a look at the object. Now that Thor said it, he could see it was  a carry cot shaped like a bubble. He edged forward and saw, through a shimmer of green magic, Vali’s little face. He moved as well, grabbing Clint’s shoulder,

“Put it down Hawkeye, it’s a baby!”

Clint looked at him in disbelief.

“A baby? His baby?”

“Yeah. Put the bow down,” Steve repeated. Clint clearly wanted to argue, but he did as Steve said, settling for giving Loki a death glare.

“You brought a baby to a fight?” asked Tony in disbelief.

“I brought my son, who is in a protective shield. Where I go, he goes,” said Loki, his magic still shimmering around his hands. Steve thought he looked tired, worn down and slightly twitchy.

“We appreciate you coming to our aide,” said Thor quickly, before anyone could say anything else. “Come, we need your expertise.”

Thor and Steve did most of the talking, with Bruce and Strange chiming in when needed. At one point Wanda leaned to the side and started pulling silly faces at Vali behind Loki’s back. Loki noticed and narrowed his eyes at her suspiciously. Wanda gulped but stood her ground,

“He’s cute,” she said simply.

“Yeah, yeah, he’s frickin’ adorable, can we focus here?” demanded Tony. Loki waved his hand subtly and the carry cot floated a little closer to him, gently bobbing at his elbow. Thor shifted to the side so it was between them. Loki considered the situation in silence, one fingertip tracing over his lower lip thoughtfully, before he said,

“If you wish to crush him, you’ll need to find the piece of him that he has hidden -that is where he as stored all of his weakness. Find it and destroy it. He will be mortal and powerless once more.”

“How do we find it?” asked Steve before anyone else could speak. He was in no mood for messing around.

“You cannot, but I can.” Loki tilted his head to the side, then disappeared.

“Fuck! Where’d he go?” yelled Clint. Vali was still in his carrier, snoozing peacefully at Thor’s side.

“Loki has undoubtedly gone to find and destroy the man’s power source,” Thor said, tentatively reaching up and tapping the bubble. It rippled a little, then split apart under his touch. Vali whimpered and squinted his eyes open. Up close Steve could see his markings, and he wondered what they meant. Thor glanced around sheepishly, then reached in and picked the baby up. The awkward motion made Vali fuss, but he quickly settled once Thor nestled him into the crook of his arm.

“My friends,” he said solemnly, “May I present to you Vali Lokason, my nephew and my heir.”

Wanda, Vision and Bruce came over and took a look at the baby, while the rest held back.

“He’s so sweet,” cooed Wanda, reaching out and running the back of her finger against Vali’s chin.

“Who the hell was willing to climb onto bag of cats to make him?” asked Tony loudly. Steve stepped aside to give Thor a clear line to the loudmouth.

“Have a care how you speak! Vali is also heir to Vanaheim and Jotunheim -three of the longest and most powerful kingdoms in the Nine realms.”

“Yeah, yeah he’s a real Charles the Fifth, but that doesn’t answer my question!”

“This was the price for the Vanir army that came to help us against Thanos,” Thor said.

“I don’t get it,” said Bruce softly. Steve sighed,

“In exchange for the army Loki had to give the new queen an heir, and raise him until the time he’s old enough to take the throne, or something like that.”

“Oh boy… what a hardship,” drawled Clint.

“I fear it will be,” said Thor darkly. Steve gave him a look, but Thor did not elaborate, because Loki reappeared, dragging a man by the hair.

“Here is your foe,” Loki said, using the grip on the man’s hair to throw him at Steve’s feet. “It really wasn’t that difficult to put him down.”

“K-keep him away from me!” the man screeched, wrapping his arms around Steve’s ankles and cowering. “I’ll come quietly, just-”

“You’ve already been defeated so your volume is hardly worth much negotiation,” said Loki, examining his fingernails. Only now did Steve notice that Loki was still in his soft green slippers.

“Well, um, thanks for the help Loki,” said Steve awkwardly, reaching down and prying the man’s arms off him so Natasha and Clint could take him away.

“It was nothing, such an insult to magic deserves the firmest of slap downs,” said Loki, his eyes fixed on Steve, even as his arms plucked Vali out of Thor’s in one smooth motion. Thor looked like someone had kicked his puppy. “Now, if you’ll excuse me-”

“Wait a sec!” Steve said, stepping forward. “Loki, can I have a word with you?” An idea had burst into his head and this was the best chance to suggest it. Loki studied him for a long moment, before nodding.

“A moment.”

Steve gestured towards the balcony, wanting to do this in private, even though it would involve the Avengers if Loki agreed. As they walked into the fresh air, Vali made a soft noise, then stretched. Loki peered down at him fondly, then gave Steve his full attention.

“Speak, Captain.”

“Ok, so obviously today has shown that even though Scarlet Witch and Dr Strange are skilled users, they might need some help sometimes with the actual knowledge -neither of them has close to the amount of study you do on magic, right?”

“Given I’m over a thousand, I’d say that’s rather likely.”

“Right. So, would you be open to… being available as needed? Like today? A lot of people could have been hurt if you had not been able to deal with everything so quickly.”

Loki snorted,

“Are you asking me to be an Avenger, Captain? Because I can tell you right now, that would be a foolish plan.”

Steve held back a sigh,

“That’s why I didn’t ask that. I’m saying if something magical comes up, could you be counted on to come and help us? Like a… freelancer?”

Loki did not reply, he just stared at Steve expectantly. Steve stared right back, not sure what Loki was waiting for.

“Aren’t you going to regal me with the virtues of doing good deeds? Appeal to my sentimental interior?”

“Nope,” said Steve, “I figured once you lead an invasion on an innocent planet, you’ve not got a lot of virtue or sentimentality. No point in appealing to something I don’t believe is there.”

Loki’s eyes flashed and he drew himself up, as Steve knew he would.

“Then why should I agree to this?”

“Earth is now not only the home of your people, it’s your son’s home too. As I understand it, you want to keep him safe, you’re not so far gone that you don’t care about his well being, are you?”

A muscle twitched in Loki’s cheek.

“Get to the point!”

“I bet that Vali would grow up safer and happier if his dad was helping us all keep Earth safe. Kids can be cruel. It’d be better for Vali growing up if his dad was known for helping people, rather than hurting them, don’t you think?”

“My son is heir to three thrones!”

“And he’s still gonna grow up like any other kid. He’ll want friends, unless you think something in your heritage means he won’t feel lonely.”

That was a low blow, but Steve did not really care right now. He had a way of ensuring Loki would never try to conquer this world again. Thor might hold on to hope that Loki would do no ill based on morality alone, but Steve had learned the hard way that such optimism could do more harm than good. The way Loki’s cheeks turned the palest hint of pink, barely more than a dusting, told Steve his hunch was right.

“Why not make life a little easier for Vali? I’m not going to ask you to start clearing up litter on the beach, or try to make nice with anyone. I’m just asking that if we run into trouble with magic, you’ll help us out.”

“Out of the kindness of my heart?” Loki sneered.

“Do you have one?” Steve replied calmly. He knew Loki wanted to get a rise out of him, so he would not give it. Loki looked ready to snarl at him, the glint of madness Steve had seen when they had first met in Germany flaring in his eyes. “You agree, formally, to help us with magic issues, and I’ll make sure no one on my team comes after you for what you did.”

Loki’s snarl died on his lips, and he regarded Steve with deeper consideration.

“A pardon.”

“Not in any official capacity. Not yet at least. But you know Natasha and Clint would quite like to send you to the deepest hole in pieces, and Tony would pay for it. If you agree to help us -and be civil -I give you my word that none of them will come after you.”

Loki didn’t answer at once, his gaze roamed Steve’s face, then dropped down to Vali. The baby let out a little coo and started sucking his fist, eyes fixed on Loki’s face. Loki’s expression softened just a little; he was less tight around the eyes. Loki took a deep breath, and turned his sharp green eyes to Steve.

“We have an agreement.”

**~*~**

A few months had passed and Steve had called on Loki twice for his help. Natasha was the most understanding, despite her and Clint’s long standing friendship.

“I’ve worked with worse,” she’d said with a shrug. Tony kept trying to get jabs in, but even he recognised the need for someone with Loki’s experience.

Steve had made a point of thanking Loki properly, singling him out and shaking his hand. Doing so seemed to throw Loki off and confuse him slightly, which was exactly what Steve wanted. Thor had told him already about how he had not appreciated Loki’s skill when they were young. It made sense that Loki would find gratitude and praise disarming, and Steve knew he had to take advantage. Besides, it was in his own inclination to praise where needed.

Clint was not pleased with this approach.

“He should be locked up,” he growled for the tenth time.

“Maybe, but that’s not how it went,” said Steve with a weary sigh. “I know you don’t want him near you, and I get it, but since we can’t just arrest him -think of the damage he could do! -we need another way of keeping him from turning on us all again.”

“So, you wanna make a friend of an enemy to keep him under control?” Clint grunted in dark approval, “Didn’t think you had that in you.”

Steve was not sure he did have it, but he was tired of having to fight his way out of situations. If being nice to Loki saved people’s lives then he would do it with pride.

Steve was just nodding off one night, when he saw a faint glimmer of green out of the corner of his eye. He sat up at once, ready to fight when Loki spoke.

“Calm yourself Captain, I mean you no harm.”

“What the hell are you doing in my room?” Steve demanded, pulling his sheets up to cover his chest. In the dark he could see Loki’s tall, slim silhouette moving several paces from the end of his bed.

“You seemed to know about infants, tell me why my son won’t stop crying.”

“What?” Completely bewildered, Steve reached out and slapped the button that would turn up his lights. As he blinked in the brightness he saw that Vali was once more in his bubble, only he was clearly not happy, judging by the way his face was screwed up and his limbs were flailing in every direction. Yet Steve could not hear a thing.

“You put a silencing bubble around a baby?” asked Steve in disbelief. What kind of parent-

“Only to mask my arrival here,” said Loki curtly, “I assure you that until two minutes ago my son was perfectly audible, at least to me.”

“So, what’s wrong with him?” asked Steve, shuffling down the bed a little and keeping the sheets pressed to his chest.

“I don’t know,” said Loki, eyeing the silent but clearly squalling baby. His left eye twitched slightly. “He isn’t hungry, or in need of changing, and he does not seem to be tired. I was hoping you might have a suggestion.”

“Could you not have asked someone among your people?”

Loki snorted,

“And let them get within a foot of my half Jotun child? No, I think not.” He gave Steve a haughty look of expectation. “So, what do you suggest?”

“Me? Why me?”

“Because you showed you knew something of babes when I first brought Vali here,” said Loki impatiently.

“Yeah, but I don’t-” Steve broke off with a sigh of frustration. “OK, fine, I’ll help, but turn around so I can get dressed!”

Loki’s eyebrow quirked up a little, his eyes dropping down to Steve’s lap. A tiny smirk appeared.

“I was not aware humans slept nude.”

“Not all do, but it’s hot today,” Steve muttered, trying not to blush. Loki huffed in amusement, then turned his back. Steve grabbed the nearest thing, his discarded boxers, and pulled them on, quickly followed by his T-shirt. Then he joined Loki in looking down at Vali.

“You already tried feeding him and changing?”

“Yes.”

“Well, get him out of the bubble and I’ll see what I can do.”

Loki sighed and waved the bubble away. At once Vali’s cries vibrated through Steve’s ears and he winced. He noticed that Loki’s left eye twitched again. Bracing himself, Steve reached into the bubble and picked Vali up, aware that Loki was watching his every move.

“Hey,” he crooned, fumbling a little as he dithered about how to hold Vali, settling for pressing his tiny chest to his collar and resting his head in the curve of his neck. “Hey little man. What’s wrong? What’s the fuss about?”

Vali’s cries faded away almost as soon as his head rested on Steve’s shoulder and he settled to whimpering, but even that trailed off in a minute. Steve peeked at Loki’s face and saw that he had an expression more appropriate for his world conquering self than right now.

“What. Did. You. Do?” he hissed.

“I dunno,” said Steve honestly. “I just picked him up.”

“He has been crying for two hours, nothing I have tried stopped it. So I ask again. What did you do?”

“And I’m telling you,” Steve had to struggle to keep his voice calm, “I didn’t do anything but pick him up. Maybe he just needed a cuddle?”

“A cuddle?” repeated Loki as if he had never heard of such a thing. Well, that would explain a lot, but considering Thor was his brother, it didn’t seem likely.

“Did you trying cuddling him?” asked Steve. Loki did not answer, he was eyeing Vali like his son had betrayed him. “You know babies need physical interactions, not just when they’re hungry or dirty. If human babies don’t get any physical contact, even if all their other needs are met, they’ll generally get really ill. Maybe it’s the same with Vali?”

Loki’s face twisted and his cheeks lost what little colour they had.

“Have you… not been holding him?” asked Steve quietly. Loki lifted his chin, clearly about to dismiss the question, but then his shoulders dropped and he dropped his eyes, mumbling,

“I didn’t think it was necessary.”

“You didn’t think hugging your son was necessary?” Steve asked, failing to keep his voice steady. What was wrong with this man?

“I know nothing of babies. How was I to know this?”

“You don’t need to know it! It should be something that comes natural, an instinct. Don’t you want to hold him?” demanded Steve. Loki narrowed his eyes at him, his lip curling,

“Well, according to all who know me, I am an unnatural being. So it stands to reason I lack such an inclination.” His voice had dropped to an almost purring growl. It made Steve’s whole body tense up and he held Vali a little tighter. The baby’s head fit neatly in his hand and was soft as velvet against his palm. Loki held out his hands, “Give me my son Captain.”

His voice was low, and attempting to be mild, but Steve was pretty sure that if he tried to hold on to Vali, Loki would stick a knife in his throat. Against his own instincts, Steve carefully lifted Vali off his shoulder, and handed him back. Loki mimicked him, letting Vali rest his head on Loki’s shoulder. Vali let out a soft grumble, then turned his face towards Loki’s neck. Loki looked a little terrified, as if he was afraid of dropping Vali. Well, he had had plenty of time to practise already. It was on him if he had squandered it.

Steve could not wrap his head around the fact that Loki wasn’t holding his son.

“Do Asgardians just not hug their children?” he asked faintly.

“…they do,” said Loki, his long hand tentatively curling around the back of Vali’s head. His eyes fluttered shut for a moment, his nostrils flaring. He was inhaling Vali’s soft scent. Had he never noticed it before?

“So…?” Steve pressed, even more confused. Loki opened his eyes and he scowled at Steve. Steve did not budge an inch. Loki sighed,

“Thor and I were raised in the Royal nursery. We had nurses to care for us until we were old enough to start learning useful skills.”

“So, your parents never spent any time with you?”

“We saw them in the evening, after we were bathed and dressed for bed. We went to them to say goodnight. We would spend a few minutes with them and then go to bed.”

Steve’s frown deepened.

“Doesn’t seem like a lot of quality time.”

Loki’s nostrils flared,

“They were ruling the greatest realm in the universe, that does take up quite a lot of one’s time.”

“You would know,” said Steve without thinking. Loki gave him an irritated look.

“When we were older we saw more of them. Well, I spent time with Mother learning her magic, Thor was either with Odin or one of his generals, he was supposed to be learning how to rule.”

“Seems like he learned well,” said Steve.

“If you had seen him before his first coronation, you wouldn’t have said so,” said Loki. He wore an expression that was half indignant anger, half petulant pout.

“Well, I know him now, and I think he’s doing his best. But we’re not here to talk about Thor. We’re talking about Vali.”

Loki looked like he was dying to start a rant about Thor, but Steve quickly cut across him,

“So exactly what have you been doing with Vali?”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you play with him? Sing to him, talk to him? You know, interact with him beyond the basic feeding, changing and burping?”

“Are such things necessary?” asked Loki, “He won’t recall such things.”

“Just because he won’t remember doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect him!” Steve dragged his hands through his hair to keep from give Loki a hard smack. “How would you feel if you were tiny and helpless and no one interacted with you except in the most basic way -Are you ok?”

Loki’s face had gone paler than he could have imagined, even his lips were suddenly bloodless. He seemed to curl his back, wrapping himself around Vali a bit tighter, muttering, 

“I did not think… I did not imagine…” He looked so distressed that Steve found himself saying,

“Hey, you know now. It’s okay. You can do better from now on.”

Loki looked up at him, his forehead drawn into anxious wrinkles,

“I did not expect this to be so difficult. I was worried about when he grew older, and could understand that he… he is not like others. I thought a babe only needed warmth and food, that everything else could be dealt with later.”

“Well, it doesn’t seem to work that way,” said Steve.

“How do you know so much? You are not a parent, are you?”

Steve shrugged, feeling a twinge of long dampened hopes in his chest.

“I’ve done a bunch of visits to children’s hospitals, I did some reading up to make sure it went well. Besides, some of it I just picked up growing up in tenement housing. When you have whole families sharing one or two rooms, you pick up things.”

“You actually lived like that?” Loki’s expression was of such deep disgust, Steve’s temper spiked abruptly.

“It was all most people could afford. My ma and I were on our own, and a widow didn’t make much money back then.” Still don’t in many cases.

“Your father died and your mother had no money?”

Why was Loki still here? Steve had helped him figure out what was wrong with Vali, he should have gone by now.

“You seem to have everything under control now, you should probably get Vali back home.”

Loki gave a little start and he nodded,

“Yes, you are correct.” He started to turn away from Steve, then looked at him for a long moment before muttering, “Thank you Captain.”

“Don’t mention it,” Steve replied.

Loki turned away again, and the father and son were gone in a blink.


	4. Rising Tensions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Sorry it's been a while, new job is insanely busy.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Steve never bothered telling anyone about Loki’s surprise visit. It hadn’t hurt anyone and if him helping Loki parent was what he had to do to keep the world safe, so be it. He tried to put the Asgardian out of his mind when he was not around. After all, so long as Loki didn’t make trouble, the world had agreed to leave him be. This was a fact that did not sit well with Clint, or his wife, but they seemed to accept that that was how things were to be.

As a freelance magic consultant, Loki was… acceptable. He swung quite a bit between being very much a team player and then seemed to realise what he was doing and going out of his way to remind everyone that he did not give a damn about anyone but himself and his son. No one really cared since that meant they didn’t have to spend any extra time with him. While Thor would often stay after a mission for pizza and beer, Loki would simply disappear back to wherever he had left Vali.

Sometimes Steve wondered if Loki felt lonely, watching everyone else gather together, patting each other on the back and generally enjoying the relief that they had won. If he was, Loki would never admit it, and since he was the one being an ass, Steve did not bother to feel pity for him. While he and Thor had talked about the likelihood of Loki’s hand being forced with New York, the fact remained that Loki did not admit remorse or show a willingness to reach out. If Loki wanted to stew in his own misery, let him. Steve did his part by being polite. There was nothing else he needed to do.

So why, oh why, could Steve not stop thinking about Loki?

At first it had been concern about the trouble he might cause, but after a few months… it was something else. Something nagging, and irritating, and constant.

So when Thor asked him if he wanted to see the magic school next time he was on New Asgard, Steve almost said no, just to stay away from Loki. But his curiosity got the better of him, he had read Harry Potter during his time in hiding, and he had an image of Loki striding around like Professor Snape, terrorising the kids for his own amusement.

He needed to see if it was true.

The magic school was a flatpack affair, built to stand and not much else. It had a little sign on the door in Asgardia.

“What’s it say? Loki’s School of Sorcery?” Steve asked with a quirk of his eyebrow.

“Actually, it’s called Frigga’s House,” said Thor with a little smile. “Our mother taught Loki his skills, and even though she lied to him as much as father… it’s nice to see he still loves her.”

Steve found the idea rather touching though it did not quite match up with his mental image of the two’s mother that Loki had described that night. She had seemed very distant.

Thor put his finger to his lips as he slowly turned the handle, easing the door open and all but tip-toeing in. Steve copied him and quickly shut the door behind him. When he turned back to look, his jaw dropped.

The portacabin had looked industrial and unwelcome on the outside. Inside was a very different story. For one thing, it was much, much bigger on the inside, with a warm glow of wood and candles. Books lined one wall, and there seemed to be an honest to god cauldron in a corner, surrounded by glass cases full of things like animal fur, eyes, vials of glowing mixes -potions! -while a fire crackled cheerfully against another wall. It was near this wall that the children were sitting, looking up at Loki who was sitting in a low chair, and demonstrating… something that looked like a butterfly.

It was a little like one of Tony’s holograms, faintly transparent and glowing green, fluttering its wings just above Loki’s open, spread hands. Loki was talking,

“-what it looks like. Can you remember the number of legs? The shape of a wing? It’s all a matter of focus, on memory, and the willingness to make it happen.”

The children were clearly enraptured, gazing up at Loki with wide eyes. They were a range of ages, some were very young, maybe about four, while others were older teens. Steve felt like he had caught the older ones in a moment of openness he might not have otherwise seen. Then he looked at Loki’s face and found himself fascinated. Gone was Loki’s usual scowl or sneer, instead he had an expression of intense focus. It was not unlike the expression Steve had been told he wore when he was lost in art.

He had never noticed the expression before on Loki.

One of the smaller children reached out and tried to catch the butterfly. It skittered out of reach, making the boy laugh. Loki smiled, something Steve did not think he had seen on the pale man’s face before.

“Who would like to take it?” Loki asked, the butterfly drifting back down towards his hands. Three children raised their hands. “Thundi, let’s see what you can do.”

A blond boy got to his feet, trying to hide his nerves. He lifted his hands and slowly reached towards Loki’s. Steve held his breath as the boy cupped his hands under the butterfly, just above Loki’s. The creature flickered like a bad signal, and the boy recoiled, looking worried.

“Easy,” said Loki softly, “Remember that it’s coming from you, the seiðr will only happen if you will it to come from inside you.”

Thundi stretched his hands out again, cupped them under the butterfly. It flickered again, then slowly the green changed to a soft pink. Thundi’s mouth fell open as Loki drew his hands away slowly. The butterfly stopped moving, almost becoming like a paused film. Static and brittle looking.

“Good, good. Now make it fly,” said Loki. Thundi furrowed his brow, concentrating, but the butterfly did not move. Loki’s expression tensed, and Steve felt his own spine stiffen.

“Come Thundi, you can do it,” Loki said, his soothing tone not quite as convincing now. Thundi looked from the butterfly to his teacher and the butterfly disappeared.

“Oh no!” Thundi yelped, snatching his hands back and giving Loki an anxious look. Loki’s expression flashed with frustration, then disappeared under a calm demeanour again.

“It’s fine. You’ll try again, and you’ll get it.”

“How?” asked Thundi in a tiny voice.

“It’s like any skill,” said Loki, his gaze sliding away to the wall. Only then did Steve notice the portrait of a beautiful woman, smiling kindly down at them all, “You need to practise, and every time you do, you build a little connection inside you and when you build enough connections, you will soon have a bridge between you and the seiðr, and it will be easy to carry the seiðr over the bridge. So remember that.”

Thundi nodded, looking relieved. Loki seemed to lose his focus for a moment, staring at the portrait with an expression that suggested longing, grief… and anger. It was an intriguing look to give a lost mother. Steve knew well that it was so easy to idolise the woman who raised you when they were dead.

“I think we’ll leave it there for today,” said Loki, standing up, towering over all the children. “You have your homework, make sure you do it, and if you don’t understand something, write down what you can. If you come back without it done and claim you could not understand any of it, I will know if you’re lying.”

Well, there was Professor Snape.

The kids nodded, anxious little faces turned up to Loki. Steve felt a stab of anxiety for their safety, but Thor did not seem worried. They stood aside to let the kids out and then Thor stepped up to Loki.

“They’re settling well, brother.”

“Hmm…” said Loki, waiting until the door shut before saying, “They have potential, but sadly without the resources of Asgard, I fear much of the possibilities will be forever lost to them.”

Thor did not seem to know what to say to that. His shoulders dropped and he let out a sigh.

“Well, they can learn what you know,” said Steve, “So not all of it is lost. And then they can learn new things, things that they can bring back and add to your culture. You may not have everything you lost, but you can become stronger by letting new things in.”

Loki raised an eyebrow, clearly not feeling as enthused as Steve might have hoped.

“You speak wisely,” said Thor, clapping Steve on the shoulder. “What we have lost cannot be replaced, but we can find new things to add.”

“Would you say the same if fewer warriors had been saved?” The anger in Loki’s tone was sharp, waspish and bitter. “Would you so easily brush off the loss of Asgard’s entire warrior system had it been that and not the great seiðr wisdom that was lost?”

“Loki, I didn’t mean-” started Thor, but Loki was already turning away, levitating books back onto shelves.

“Of course not! You never do, and yet there it is, said for all to hear.”

“What other option do we have?” demanded Thor, “It is lost, and I don’t know how to get it back. If I must choose between stewing in grief or trying to find hope in the dark, I will choose hope.”

Loki barked a nasty laugh,

“Stewing in grief? As if you could even pretend to care about this loss. After all, they’re just tricks, aren’t they? Just silly, lazy, dishonourable lies -not like bashing a man’s head in with a hammer!”

Steve wished he could reverse out of the room without drawing attention to himself.

“How many times do I have to apologise for that? I was young, I didn’t understand-”

“You have never apologised for it!” Loki snarled.

“I have! Over and over again!” Thor shouted.

“If you think the words you’ve spewed have amounted to any sort of true apology, you’re even dimmer than I thought.”

“Meanwhile you are so proud you won’t even deign to apologise for things you have done. You tried to kill me, you nearly destroyed Jötunheim, you cast father out and stole the throne-”

“Because you abandoned it!” Loki bellowed. The windows actually shook from the volume. “You righteous, arrogant fool, more concerned with your own feeling of moral superiority than actually doing anything useful. Asgard had just been assaulted like never before, the capital was in pieces, the queen -our mother! -dead. And you just walked away, happy that Odin gave you the faintest hint of a way out of your responsibility.”

“And what did you do other than make statues of yourself and put on terrible plays.”

“I rebuilt! I repaired the damage done to the capital, I made sure widows and children were provided for, I made mother’s garden open to the public as a memorial to her. You left, I stayed and had to pretend to be a man I hated, just so I could help! Do you have any idea what it was like to be forced to hide like that? Of course not -you are loved no matter what you do, while I am loathed whether I do good or wrong!”

“You don’t seem loathed right now.”

The brothers looked around, they had clearly forgotten Steve was there. Steve considered saying nothing more, and yet his mouth continued to move. “These kids don’t seem to loath you. And I doubt if the parents loathed you they would have let you teach their kids.”

“Children are trusting and more than half of them are orphans now,” said Loki at once.

“Well, they must have some guardians to take care of them, and they let you teach the kids,” said Steve.

“Exactly!” said Thor in triumph, “Despite your wrong doings, you have been forgiven because you-”

“Forgiven!” Loki screeched. Tendrils of green-gold magic sparked at his fingertips. “You sanctimonious, arrogant-”

A knock on the door made all of them freeze. A split second later the door banged open, and Valkyrie strode in.

“Sorry to barge in,” she said in a completely unconvincing tone, “But there’s a dispute going on in the training ring, and I can’t be bothered to knock some heads together.” As if to make her point, she swung a pull from a bottle that, on closer inspection, appeared to be brandy. Thor sighed and looked to Loki, who still seemed ready for a fight.

“Will you come?” Thor asked. Loki’s expression flickered through a myriad of emotion. Fury, bitterness, pride, haughtiness, maybe even a bit of longing. It was so fast Steve could not be sure if he had actually seen it. Finally, he nodded. Together the two brothers walked out, and Steve realised that Vali was strapped to Loki’s back, his usual bubble around the part of him exposed to the world. The sight of the baby cuddled against Loki’s back made a startled smile burst on Steve’s face.

“How long has he been doing that?” he asked Valkyrie quietly as they followed the two.

“The baby back thing? Oh, a few weeks.” Valkyrie shrugged, “I think it was around the time Loki looked ready to throw the kid out of the window ‘cause he wouldn’t stop crying. I don’t know how he figured it out, but next morning the kid was on his back and not crying.”

… so he had listened to Steve.

That was worth remembering.

“You came just in time,” he said, “I think they were about to start brawling before you walked in.”

“The walls aren’t soundproof, America. I knew what I was doing.”

“Do you do that a lot? Break up their fights?”

“Not always. Some of the time it’s more fun to let them go off, but unfortunately I’m smart enough to recognise that it’s better for the people to not have the leader and his second in command constantly at each other’s throats. So if I can find a reason to break them up for a while, I’ll take it.”

“No flies on you,” said Steve with a grin.

“Back ‘atcha,” said Valkyrie, raising her bottle in a toast.

To their credit, Thor and Loki showed a united front as they stood before the warriors, shoulder to shoulder, expression stony.

“Yet again I am brought to this place to find you deriding the use of seiðr and barring seiðr users from this space to practise,” said Thor.

“They are unworthy,” said one of the warriors. “They hide behind tricks and lies instead of strength and honour. The training ring is a sacred space, it should not be dishonoured like this.”

“There is no dishonour in using your gifts in the defence of Asgard,” said Thor, sounding like he had already had this argument a few times.

“Gifts,” spat the warrior, “A talent for lies and illusion. They are an insult to Asgard and all it stood for!”

A silence fell across the whole settlement, then a quiet rumble of thunder echoed in the distance. The warrior looked around, a hint of awareness in his face.

“What, exactly, does Asgard stand for?” asked Loki, his voice quiet but clear in the silence.

“You ought to know,” snapped the warrior, “But I suppose not even Asgard could beat the Jötun out of you.”

Thor started forward, but froze mid-step, like he had been caught on something. Was he thinking better of getting physical? Steve was not sure, Thor was getting better at controlling his temper, but there were always some things he was hair trigger about. Then, because he was standing just behind and to the side of the two, he saw a faint shimmer of green and gold around Loki’s hand behind his back. As Thor relaxed back, the shimmer disappeared.

“If you ever speak against the Jötun, or any race, like that again, I will banish you from this settlement.”

“It’s his fault Asgard is gone!”

“No, it is not, and I will not say this again.” Here Thor addressed the gathered crowd, “Asgard is gone because of Odin and his first born, Hela. She was of Asgard, more than I or Loki, as my mother is of Vanaheim. Yet it was she who doomed Asgard to the flames of Sutur, because she had been raised on Asgard’s hubris and inflated ego. We do not own the universe, and our claims to being its protector are marred by our greed and desire for power.”

Loki’s head turned to look at his brother, a hint of anxiety in his eyes. Was he trying to judge how honest Thor was being? Steve supposed it was hard to go from hearing your brother say that the entire community had forgiven you and then be confronted by the truth that they had not. Especially since it was obvious that some of it was based on racism and… whatever you could call a bigoted hatred of magic. Magic-phobia?

“Now, you will let the seiðr wielders train alongside you, or you will no longer be given use of the sacred space,” said Thor in a low voice.

The warrior puffed out his chest and Steve tensed, expecting a fight to break out. Next to him, Valkyrie tossed back another glug of brandy, then threw the empty bottle over her shoulder, reaching for her dagger at her hip. Loki’s hands slipped to his sides, twitching slightly as if fighting the urge to curl into fists.

The moment when calm teetered on the brink of a brawl, then the warrior seemed to realise who he was talking to. He glared at Loki, then stepped back, giving a petulant nod. No one moved until the warrior stomped away, followed by several others. Everyone seemed to wait for Thor to move, but it was Loki who did first, reaching out and resting his hand on Thor’s shoulder.

“My king…” he said quietly, almost submissively. It was a mile apart from the fire he had shown in the school. Thor started and looked at him, stepping back and breaking the tension. Valkyrie made a soft ‘humph’ sound and meandered away, while some people, they must have been the sorcerers who had started the whole affair, stepped into the circle.

“Prince Loki, will you join us?” asked one of them. Loki looked away from Thor long enough to say,

“Perhaps later. For now, do as you planned.” Then he turned and strode away, passing so close to Steve their shoulders almost touched. There was a glint of rage in Loki’s eyes again, but his expression was impassive. Steve watched him go, then noticed several men sneer at Vali on Loki’s back.

A part of Steve was satisfied that Loki was not as embraced by Asgard as Thor claimed, but another part hated the idea of anyone being bullied. Even Loki. And in another part of his mind, he worried about what Loki might do if he was pushed too far.


	5. Disappeared Dad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started this before Endgame and tbh, Endgame isn't gonna have much to do with this story, so no spoilers here.

It was the end of a long day and an even longer mission. All Steve wanted to do was shower for a day and then fall into bed. It had been a bad mission, people had died and property damage was substantial. Worse, they had not been able to apprehend the bastard that was behind it all. Steve all but tumbled into his apartment, setting his shield by the door. He was ten steps into the space before he realised not only was his alarm not set but there was someone in his favourite chair.

“You picked the wrong day to break in here,” he growled.

“Calm yourself Captain.”

Temper spiking, Steve stepped around and glared down at Loki who did not even do him the courtesy of looking at him. The Asgardian was feeding Vali a bottle of milk, looking almost ridiculously serene.

“What the hell are you doing here Loki?” Steve demanded. He was in absolutely no mood for this.

“A moment,” said Loki, still fixed on Vali’s face. The baby sucked the bottle dry and then Loki pulled the nipple away, causing the quietest of pops. Vali smacked his lips and burbled quietly, one fist pressing into his mouth. Loki hummed , then sat Vali up, rubbing his back. For reasons Steve did not want to look into, he allowed the ex-invader to burp his baby before saying,

“You need to leave right now. I am in absolutely no mood for whatever you want.”

“I want only solitude,” said Loki, standing up with Vali’s head on his shoulder. “Rather than deal with my brother’s people for another day.”

Steve dragged his hands over his face,

“So they’re Thor’s people again?” he asked wearily.

“I see no reason that I should not call them so,” said Loki so snobbishly Steve was sure it was forced, “They have no interest in embracing me.”

“I’m sure you’ve done your best to embrace them,” Steve sniped, utterly disinterested in whatever Loki’s new issues were. “Now leave.”

Loki opened his mouth as if to object, but Steve cut across him,

“I have had a really bad week, and I am going to bed. I want you gone. Now.”

“Oh what harm am I doing if I stay?” Loki demanded, “I’m hardly going to kill you in your sleep.”

“I wouldn’t put it past you to try.”

Loki’s mouth snapped shut, his mouth tightening.

“Very well, I will leave.”

Why did Steve get the feeling Loki had hoped he would be invited to remain?

Falling face first onto his bed, Steve thought he heard Loki say to Vali,

“We’ll find somewhere else to stay my son.” But before Steve could consider the words he was asleep.

~*~

Thor came to find Steve a few days later, a dark scowl on his face.

“Steve, have you seen my brother?”

Steve, midway through a set of push ups halted on his up and looked at the king.

“Seen Loki? Not since I came home to find him in my favourite chair.”

“When was that?”

“Uh… six days ago.”

“Did he say where he was going?”

Steve could hear the tight concern in Thor’s voice and, realising this talk would not be brief, gave up on his workout for the moment and straightened up.

“He didn’t. To be honest I didn’t ask. I just told him to leave. Why? When did you last see him?”

“Ten days ago. He took Vali with him, and I’m worried,” said Thor, his arms crossed over his stomach, one hand moving up and down a bicep as if in self comfort.

“Well, Vali looked fine when I saw him. I thought you said he was safe with Loki?” said Steve, his stomach contracting as he envisaged Loki doing something terrible to the baby.

“You misunderstand me,” said Thor quickly, “I do not worry for Vali’s safety with Loki, but for Loki’s well being.”

Steve’s stomach relaxed slightly,

“What happened?”

Thor sighed, his whole body sagging.

“Loki and I had a fight.”

“Well that’s not unusual,” said Steve, trying to sound reassuring.

“No, but this was particularly bad. We both said some things that… perhaps should never have been said.”

Steve sighed,

“I’m sure whatever it was Loki will get over it and come back.”

Thor gave him a look and Steve shrugged, silently conceding that such platitudes were unlikely to apply to Loki.

“Why don’t you ask Strange to track him down?”

“I did, he couldn’t find either of them.”

Well, that did not sound good.

“How can I help?” Steve asking, a small part of him cursing his own inability to stay out of things. Thor dragged a hand through his hair.

“If you see him or hear of him, let me know. Otherwise I don’t think there’s anything you can do.” He turned to leave, but Steve said,

“Wait, what if we could call him?”

Thor turned back.

“I have already tried his phone many times.”

“Yeah, but what if I call him, and say we need his help with something? Make it sound like he’s the only one who can help us, that might do the trick.”

Thor considered for a moment, then nodded,

“That may work. What will you tell him?”

Steve considered, wondering what would be convincing enough and interesting enough to draw Loki out.

“I could tell him you’re under a spell? Something Wanda and Strange can’t break?”

“That could work,” said Thor, perking up a little. “Oh! You could tell him Lorelei is here and she has me under her spell. That would make sense.”

“It would?”

“Lorelei can control men with her magic, and her sister Amora has often tried to seduce me. The two don’t always get along and it would be in keeping with their relationship for Lorelei to enthral me to irk her sister.”

“… OK, let’s try that.”

Steve knew better now than to ask further questions.

~*~

Loki answered his phone after ten rings.

“Captain Rogers, this is a surprise.”

“We need your help,” said Steve, trying to sound genuine.

“Of course you do,” said Loki, and while he was probably trying to sound smug, it fell rather flat. “Why do you need my help?”

“This woman, Lorelei she called herself, she’s done something to Thor, kinda like what you did to Clint with the Mind Stone. They’ve disappeared and Strange and Wanda can’t find them. Thor manged to say you could beat the sisters on your own, and-”

“Enough,” said Loki quietly. Steve snapped his mouth shut as he shared a nervous look with Thor. Loki’s tone was not that of a concerned brother. After a moment, Loki said,

“Tell Thor that he is an idiot to think this would lure me out. If he had bothered to come back to Asgard at all after the Dark Elves invaded, he would know that Lorelei was in the dungeons when his home blew up. She is dead, Captain Rogers, and it is pathetic of him to ask you to try to lure me out like this. I told him I was done with him, with Asgard and all of it, and I meant it. Consider our agreement null too.”

“Wait, we had a deal, if you renege on it then I can’t promise you that you’ll be left alone.”

Loki was quiet for a moment and Steve heard Vali burbling somewhere nearby.

“I accepted as a courtesy, but should anyone try to come for me, I will kill them,” said Loki.

“But-!”

Loki hung up. Steve sighed and set the phone down on the table.

“Well, that didn’t go well.”

Thor’s frown was deep and full of misery.

“I am so sorry Steve, I never thought he would forsake your arrangement in his anger.”

“What did you two argue about?” asked Steve. Thor sat down heavily and started fidgeting with his fingers.

“We have been arguing more and more of late. Maybe it’s due to being so close together for so long, maybe Loki is just exhausted from caring for Vali -I know he isn’t sleeping -but the topics usually come down to the same things. Loki’s anger toward me is deep, as is mine toward him. He acts as if his crimes should not be held against him, and no matter how often I tell him that he must make amends to our people if not Earth, he always twists things around to be about the supposed slights Asgard did him first.”

“No offence but if you keep saying ‘supposed slights’ I’m not really surprised.”

“What did Asgard do to him that was so terrible he had to steal the throne, had to bring armies down on Earth and try to wipe Jötunheim off the face of the Galaxy?” Thor demanded, “Yes, perhaps it could have been more respectful of his magic, but he so often used it to be cruel! Vicious jokes that people had no way to defend themselves against. Asgard was still his home, still where his family loved and raised him as a prince of the realm. That wasn’t enough for him?”

“I guess not,” said Steve, giving a non-committal shrug. “Did you say this to him?”

“Yes.”

“And what did he say?”

“That I have no conception of the reality that he lived in. That I, as the perfect golden son, could never understand what it was to be overshadowed -as if I didn’t grow up under our father’s shadow!!” Thor thumped the table in frustration, “Loki says Asgard drove him to the things he did, he will not accept responsibility. When I told him he had to, he had the gall to say that I never did, so why should he? What does he think I’m doing now?”

Steve’s mind started chanting _‘Don’t say it, don’t say it, don’t say it’_ but his mouth didn’t listen.

“Did you really just leave Asgard after the Dark Elves? It sounded like they could have used your help back then.”

“I left with what I thought was Odin’s permission!”

“That’s… not what I asked.”

Thor gave him a look of irritation and Steve held up his hands,

“I’m not taking sides, but you have to admit, it doesn’t sound good. You left your home in pieces when it really might have needed you.”

“I was trying to protect the galaxy!” said Thor, but the way he did not quite meet Steve’s eye suggested he didn’t believe it himself.

“Last time I saw you two together, Loki said that you put your own morality above Asgard. What did he mean?”

“I… I said that I would rather be a good man, than a great king. What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing, I guess. But… maybe timing was a bit off? Could you not have stayed to help rebuild and then go off?”

“I needed to find the Infinity Stones!”

“But this happened before Ultron, right? Or are you saying you knew then about Thanos, and just didn’t tell us?”

“I…” Thor trailed off, looking mutinous. Steve sighed again.

“Look, I’m not judging you. It worked out much better for Earth that you came when you did. Still… if Loki has a point, is it really so hard to tell him that?”

“Why must I always reach out? Why must I always be the one to forgive?” asked Thor wearily, dragging his hands over his face.

“Maybe because you know what you want?” Steve suggested, not entirely sure where this was coming from, “You want Loki to want to stay. But maybe Loki doesn’t know what he wants. He has no ultimate goal or plan, he’s just jumping from one thing to the next, looking for something that will make him happy.”

“Why can’t he be happy with me? What is so awful about me?” asked Thor, his voice cracking a little.

“I don’t know Thor. I wish I could tell you what would fix things, but I don’t know Loki. All I have seen of him is not very flattering. Sometimes though, I think there is something good in him. He does love his kid, but that can be said of lots of bad guys. I think he might be lonely, but he’s not exactly doing much to make friends with anyone from what I’ve seen.”

“He never seemed interested in making friends,” said Thor, “He seemed content when it was just us, but… is it wrong that I wanted to have more people in my life than my brother? It did not mean I loved him any less.”

Steve shrugged, he had nothing useful to say. After a few moments in silence, Thor stood up like his body weighed more than the earth and left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sad Thor is sad. Give him hugs.

**Author's Note:**

> Come and chat on [tumblr](https://not-rude-ginger.tumblr.com/) with me!


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